The secret to real happines

Recently, I had a conversation with a friend of mine that's been married for a year and half now. We were discussing the role men play in women's lives...in her own candid perspective, she said that the major role her husband plays in her life is to make her happy in everything and make sure she never lacks anything. Well many Nigerian women would totally agree with her in that aspect but I had to ponder more on this point untill I asked my self, she might be right but shouldn't one find joy in oneself and be satisfied with oneself first before people can then treat one as such?

No seriously, don't get me wrong. I mean our men are trying and infact some men actually do go the extra mile for their spouses which makes marriage more meaningful. And there's nothing wrong in expecting your hubby to live up to some certain duties he's meant to do. And to be honest, men love to be in charge and one of the ways to make them feel like "the boss" is letting them do their duties well and not you doing it for them. But hey...the the point here is should we now let our happiness depend on them? Or only on what they can do for us?

First of all, your determination to be happy against all odds is characterised by the choices you make. A well known writer once said in her speech "we should all be feminists" that we all are first of all human before we are male or female. So as a human whether male or female, you must find that inner peace and joy within you because it would be foolish to expect people ( even your spouse) to give you something you can't give yourself. Do a proper check on your life and see if you can trace what is eating you up and making you find happiness in other people without finding it in you first.

Ironically, some people actually feel good by making others feel bad, in that case what if they decide that no matter what you do or say to them, they won't let it affect them, does it mean you won't be happy ever again? One of the ways to gain inner peace is not to hold any grudge against anyone. Avoid habits that can trigger depression, because depressed people are hardly happy. Get involved in healthy activities that can boost your self esteem because, low self esteem breeds unhappy moods. Be your own sunshine first before you can be someone else's sunshine! It is rightly said that happiness is an inside job, therefore you don't have to assign anyone that much power over you. Love your spouses and respect them but don't ever allow the silly little things take away your happiness. Find joy in being yourself!