I'm Not A Label

         

Things didn't go well between the both of you, you decide that all men are the same-cheats. Really? Because, you finally have your way with her, you call every woman a whore. Just because he's effeminate, he is gay, Yet you have an effeminate kid brother who you love so much because he's the only who understands you among your brothers, to you he isn't gay, but every other effeminate person is gay.  He's lazy because he's from Niger Delta, He is Yoruba because he's dirty, Hausa because he's Muslim and Igbo because he's obsessed with money.

How dare you call him bastard, because he was born out of wedlock? Does that make him any less of a human? You decide to frustrate your poor mother because you are called bastard, you decide to cry your eyes out because being effeminate gives you a gay tag. The fact that you had an experience with a man who took advantage of you and broke your heart doesn’t mean that all men are, to use the Nigerian label “the same”.

  Didn't I mention that one of my neighbours is Igbo and dirty, even as a pharmacist, You can't use his toilet, you can't even stay in his apartment for a reasonable time and not choke from restraining your breathing. I have Hausa friends who aren't Muslims. Or haven't you seen a hardworking Ijaw man? Honestly we have grown past the stone age, we should know that we are more than our races, genders, ethnicity, religious affiliations, sex orientations, and situations. Who told you that you are defined by the situations surrounding your birth. How dare you believe your gender affects what you can and cannot do. Who said your skin colour, race, ethnicity, religious affiliations prevents you from reaching certain heights in life? Where did you get the idea? And who made you judge over people's lives? when you only define people by situations and mere generalizations, you not only miss out on the good aspects of them but also limit yourself to many opportunities that could come from knowing who they really are.

You forgot all of a sudden that you still come tops in everything you do, even as a bastard. You didn't notice that everyone wants to be you?   How did you forget that being effeminate makes you see and understand things from the view of the both gender? Ever heard of a rare breed? Isn't that what you should feel like.

Stop crying, Stop hiding under shell, don’t leave all your dreams unattended because of the labels, dust it off and don’t let it affect you.

You are your choices, your thoughts, and actions. Not where you are from. Not where you are born, not your environment. Definitely not your father's mistakes. Not what people say you are. You are unique in your own way. You are the beauty you live. So, leave that box, shell and cave you've built around you. Get up and do something for yourself. Take charge of your life. As Chimamanda rightly said “a single story creates stereotype and the problem with stereotype is not that it is untrue but that it is incomplete...a single story destroys our dignity, it emphasizes how we’re different rather than how we're similar”. Always know that you are not a label.

                                    Written by Njoku Victor