Perfectly Imperfect!

Embracing Your Imperfections Without Apologies

Written By Peace Eneja

Growing up as a little girl, I had a bow leg. When my parents first found out, they decided to take me to a hospital,  the same hospital that my mother gave birth to me. When they met the doctor, he looked at me and said, “This girl is too beautiful to have a bow leg, we’ll see what we can do to fix this”. Luckily for me, after undergoing constant treatments and taking a lot of calcium, my legs straightened up with time. And I am really glad it did. 

A few days ago, my colleagues and I took some photographs after we finished a breakfast meeting session with our company’s clients. As most young people would do, I wanted to post the picture on my social media status. Unfortunately, I was scared of posting the particular one that I liked because my legs appeared bow again! I was scared of hearing an older version of what the doctor said to my parents…”This girl is too beautiful to have a bow leg”. So even though I liked the picture, the fear that it wasn’t perfect or good enough did not allow me to actually upload it.

 Recently I started a project for myself. One that requires me to learn a new thing every day. Well, anything worthwhile. It’s a self-development kind of project, which I plan to adopt for the rest of the year. Having seen a couple of great speakers on Ted X sharing great ideas, I thought it was a good place to start. And I have been amazed by the new things I have learned in the past few weeks.

 My inspiration for this post came right after I watched Iskra Lawrence speech on ending the pursuit of perfection. According to her, the rise of social media has begun to have a negative effect on people’s self-esteem. This time, both young and older individuals.

 I found this statement plainspoken as I recall a course mate back then in college. She had a nice skin colour and a beautiful shape. One that we often refer to as “a killer body”. But her face…well, it wasn’t perfect. She needed it to be perfect just like every other girl in school. The flaws were so glaring that when she sits close to you, you could still see the patches of those pimples on her face even with a heavy make –up on. But then I visited her page on Instagram and I am sure you can guess what I saw. A pretty girl, with a matching flawless face that goes with the perfect body. Almost like a goddess!

 I honestly did not blame her, because I was also a victim. When I refused to upload that photo because I felt it was like I had a bow leg, I was doing the same thing my course mate did. We allowed what people would say affect our choices. We subconsciously gave them the power to create their own perfect image for us. 

I once held an interview session with a make-up artist. In her words, “make- up is very good because it makes one confident”. I had to ask myself if that is really true. I started to think if it is actually right to depend on something or someone to make you feel good about yourself. I found out that if one never had that little bit of confidence in them, no amount of heavy make-up can build that up for you. If you never had that courage in you, no amount of filters or photo editors can do the magic. If you haven’t told yourself you’re beautiful and actually believe it yourself, no amount of likes on Instagram or Facebook can do the trick for you.

 You have to quit society’s standard of being perfect and create your own flawlessness by accepting your imperfections in a perfect way. Go ahead and upload those pictures even though it looks like you have a bow leg or ‘k’ leg. Upload those pictures even though your face isn’t that flawless and your body isn’t perfect. Upload them anyway even though you don’t get the highest likes. The truth is, putting on a mask isn’t going to change who you really are. Showing your true colours will draw the people that are meant to stay in your life. The options are…we can decide to see ourselves beyond the filters and editors and accept our selves just the way we are, we can begin to love our bodies with all the imperfections in them or we can quit trying to be perfect because we are already good enough.