Is Getting Older Scary?

Written By Peace Eneja

While checking my social media status, I stumbled onto a friend’s birthday post that read, “…whoever thinks that getting older is not terrifying should think again, but I guess the most important thing is to live this one time life now that you are still breathing before it vanishes, happy birthday to me”. A couple of days later, I had a chat with a group of friends regarding this and after what I discovered, I thought it will be nice to actually talk about it here on my blog. Is getting older scary?

My colleague Al’han often says, “You don’t have forever to be a dump ass” and I totally agree with him. Humans have always been cautious of time, largely because we are mortals, we cannot live forever. Death being an unpredictable, unavoidable and purely-certain-to-happen phenomenon, it is very normal that we try to achieve all that we can within the short time we are alive.

Thing is, we are generally afraid of not measuring up, of not meeting expectations, of being a failure, of losing everything that are so dear to us, of just being “us” because society may count us as the “odd man out” , of giving our own opinions because society never agrees to our terms.

However, as one gets older, reality sets in. You become cautious of your expectations: to get a job, settle down, build a house, go overseas, make some more money, take care of your family (in Nigeria, family might also mean an entire extended family), train your children so they grow up to become someone to be proud of, catch up with your mates and if possible “overtake them”. The truth is when you realize how much you have to do within this available time, it could be overwhelming.

Now the issue is that we are more often not actually the ones setting these standards, society is. That is basically why there are lots of insecurities, pressures and competitions among peers. It is in the middle of this that we find ourselves uncertain of what our lives will turn out to be before it finally ends.

So, what if you never caught up with your mates, what if you decide to set your own pace, what if you choose to define your own success, what if you decide to train your children the best possible way you can, what if you are left to make your own mistakes without having to be constantly reminded of that mistake, because in the end, happiness is what truly counts.

If people are not pushed into some dangerous and unhealthy relationships, if people are allowed to genuinely represent themselves and stop measuring up, if people are given the opportunity to define their own strengths and weaknesses rather than having society spell it all out for them, maybe there would be no need to be weary after all.

Before you make that decision of giving up, of losing it, of running away from every drama, remember that life is really all about perceptions, the way you conceive it is often how it turns out to be for you. Instead of being apprehensive, try living life with a purpose - Something that makes you want to get up from the bed every morning. When you find it and you are able to block every voice that stands against it, you have defeated fear. You have won, finally.